If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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