sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
