He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
