the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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