turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
