just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
