I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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