I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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