dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
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