Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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