so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
