So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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