I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
