I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
