i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
