i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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