so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
