When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Randomize
