I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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