Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
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