it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
