Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
