he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
