HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Randomize
