this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
