Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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