You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
