Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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