His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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