I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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