Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
