...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
