do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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