Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
