i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Randomize
