$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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