Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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