He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
