so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
