Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
