Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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