I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
