He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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