I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
