I just made out with a guy for $7.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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