I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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