you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
