She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
