he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
