I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
